Name me a Luddite, however my eyes glaze over when a product claims it has an “AI-optimized” design. Whether or not it’s advertising oversaturation or a rising existential dread as AI threatens to take over each my profession and my hobbies, the phrase goes into one ear and out the opposite as simply one other buzzword, though AI is altering the world as I write this.

This got here again to thoughts lately after a viral Reddit post confirmed a screen protector with an “Optimized for AI” badge on the field. After some investigation, it seems to be a regular tempered glass screen protector from AmazingThing. I suppose it’s as “Optimized for AI” as a screen protector will be, because it’s only a skinny piece of glass.

However that is simply the tip of the iceberg relating to questionable AI claims on non-tech merchandise, so be part of me as we dive into the depths of a brand new age of selling slop.

I first observed this development final yr with phone instances. I usually check instances for our lists, and Spigen was one of many first to slap the AI moniker on its instances. For instance, the Spigen Tough Armor (Ai) MagFit case is just about equivalent to its predecessor, with a magnet as essentially the most subtle part. No horrible AI companion is hiding in there.

The itemizing claims it has “AI-enhanced XRD Foam placement through LS-DYNA Check,” so I suppose the AI is sprinkled in there throughout the design section. When trying on the instances side-by-side, I couldn’t inform you what’s completely different in regards to the XRD Foam placement, however I actually hope a skilled engineer checked the AI’s work earlier than it went into manufacturing.

There are some merchandise the place some stage of intervention nearly is smart. Oral-B’s Genius X electric toothbrushes use “AI Brushing Recognition” to inform you whenever you’ve missed a spot whereas brushing your tooth. I really feel like that is one thing my natural mind might deal with, but when it retains 9 out of ten robotic dentists off my again, I’m keen to offer it a shot.

Then there are issues like Brisk It AI-Powered Grills, which have built-in Wi-Fi and an AI assistant that will help you grill to perfection. Personally, fatherhood has given me a brand new appreciation for watching a rack of meat in solitude for hours at a time, however when you’d slightly stare at temperature readings in your phone, extra energy to you.

However there’s one product that I discover so egregious that I’m nonetheless making an attempt to wrap my head round it. Permit me to introduce you to AI golf golf equipment.

These are Callaway’s AI-enhanced irons. No, these golf equipment gained’t play golf for you, nor have they got an built-in assistant that will help you convey down your handicap. As a substitute, they use AI within the design section, much like Spigen’s (Ai) instances.

The corporate claims it used AI to research swing knowledge of hundreds of golfers to discover a design that “promotes most distance with tight dispersion into the inexperienced.” It calls this expertise AI Sensible Face, which is becoming since you’d must be a complete dumbass to buy into it.

Additionally becoming is the title of the product itself — Paradym Ai Smoke Irons. Sure, Callaway’s advertising division is actually promoting AI smoke to customers, and it isn’t ashamed to confess it.

So let this function a lesson to all of us: Don’t buy into the AI hype for many merchandise. Generative AI is one factor, however relating to every little thing else, from AI-optimized screen protectors to golf golf equipment, most of it’s simply smoke.